THE BROOKLINE YEARS

Michael Robinett to me

From: barry

To: michael

Date: Sun, 23 Aug 2009 01:53:34 -0400

tell her I miss her...tell her I miss being someones baby brother...

8.25.09

Big Sister Carol to Baby Brother Barry

THIS IS A MAJOR FAMILY DRAMA: As the Sandler/Silverman Family Turns

dear barry,

imagine my surprise to hear from Michael that he heard from you........i love how you signed the first email, 'carol's idiot brother'........that's encouraging......I say this with the highest respect.

After 10 years, out of the blue......

Why?

I need you to know how much I have been hurt by your rejection. I tried to talk to you ten years ago when I moved back here but you were having none of it. That is still very painful. i feel hurt by a lot of things that happened ten years ago; i can't just pick up as though nothing happened; i need to be treated with respect; i have Value.......+ we have to talk.......it would be good if we could really talk and then move on.....

I miss you too + I am open to the idea of re-establishing a relationship with you but I need you to know what my needs are; I am going to be 60 years old soon. I am tired. I have lines + wrinkles (my appt. with dr. 90210 is pending.....), + I am definitely too tired, out -of -juice to argue + fight + NOT TALK.......that is a very bad Sandler trait that is still alive + well. Now i would much rather have cordial relations than using energy to NOT TALK.....but no more drama....

We really have a lot to talk about, a conversation that only you and I can have because of our shared experience.......

If my voice is different, maybe because I am a different person than I was ten years ago. Today everybody treats me with respect otherwise they are off my list.

Did you ever hear the expression " treat your friends like your family + your family like your friends " ?

I have completed three years of therapy with a trauma therapist trained in EMDR, Eye Movement De-sensitization Revisualization...........this technique was developed during and after the Vietnam war for veterans coming home with PTSD, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. I have learned new ways of dealing with my Anger and I live in a yelling-free zone. I'm just exhausted from everything that we had to deal with.....no repeating the past......

So, if you want to explore having a relationship with the understanding that no one gets treated badly, you have to say how you feel out loud, everybody gets treated with respect and love and caring, good. I don't care how sappy that sounds.

I talked to Aunt Ruth today and she said my voice sounds like it always did......

what say you ? too high maintenance ?

OK, so that's the family drama I needed to say.......

I miss you too. I have a lot of photos of you as a kid, in the backyard in Malden, with Ron in Harvard Square + with Michael in Cambridge......

What's going on with you ?

How are you doing ?

What are you doing ?

If you still want to talk after reading this, call me..... i look forward to hearing from you.

love,

carol