Saturday, December 29, 2012


Julian wrote about going to see the King Tut exhibit in Seattle - click here. He included a video of Steve Martin doing his 'King Tut' skit - here is the original version in costume on Saturday Night Live - if you need laughter therapy, check it out (there is a 13 second ad) - it's worth it !


 Ellen and Robert visited the Professor Bob Sandler Reader Corner at Temple Beth Am and sent the following photos. It looks really comfy and you get to drink coffee while reading. Love it!

Friday, December 28, 2012



Our Failed Approach to Schizophrenia

Sunday, December 23, 2012


10 Tevet, December 23rd

I thought about you with every Chanukah candle-lighting 

and every game the Red Sox lost last season,,,,,,

and the way things are shaping up in the off-season

it's not looking too good.

I lost Shirley this year too.......

now, only 1 person left from 48 Harlem Street in Dorchester....

Miss you..........

Tuesday, December 18, 2012


I just read a passionate post on Julian's Early Morning Blog, (Facebook Post) regarding the tragedy at Newtown at Sandy Hook elementary school last Friday. An intersection of guns and mental illness - NO ! There have been comments of "now is not the time to discuss Gun Control" ......oh yes it is + it is now all over the news including comments by our President at the vigil on Sunday evening where it was obvious he was angry. It is horrible that it takes 20 'littles' to die before even the NRA along with politicians now say, yes it is time to talk about gun control, at least assault rifles. When I was little, I was afraid of my teachers, NOT that I was going to get shot ! (teachers in the Boston public school system were really frightening at that time - eyes front, no talking, hands folded on the desk....)

And over and over again on these talk shows in the last few days, mental illness is on the table - it should not be stigmatized; these people need help; where is the help ? It's still a taboo topic. I just buried my mother, Paranoid Schizophrenic. I am still grieving over the tragedy of her life and how it impacted everyone around her. Growing up I never felt 'safe.' You never knew what Shirley was going to do. I can relate to those kids who today, probably do not feel 'safe.'  I have PTSD. I had a visceral reaction, nausea looking at the pictures on TV....."I have seen the enemy and the enemy is us." It has to Change. We are better than that. Please send donations to NAMI. Support your local chapters. I don't know why they don't have a visible presence in this media blitz but I am going to make some calls. Budgets have been slashed for mental health programs. Along with gun control, this has got to change.

The day before I went to see Shirley in the hospital last June, I called my local NAMI chapter. A woman was available to speak to me on a Sunday ! I needed support - I got it...

The Sandy Hook Elementary School Tragedy; NAMI Statement Includes Trauma Resources
ARLINGTON, Va., Dec. 14, 2012 -- The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has issued the following statement which includes recommended links to trauma resources for families: click here to read more.

Addendum: From the Obituary of Shirley Silverman:
In lieu of flowers, contributions in her memory may be made to N.A.M.I. (National Alliance on Mental Illness,) 3803 N. Fairfax Dr. Ste. 100, Arlington, VA 22203. 

Saturday, December 8, 2012



Lighting the Menorah from Roby and Bernice, Roby's baseball......

Happy Chanukah to everyone in the Sandler family !

I didn't send out any cards this year .......


After the FBI came to our house and took Julius to jail, Shirley wanted a divorce. Julius did not but nothing would change her mind. He went to Court and told the judge he worked at Novel Iron Works as a salesman and he didn't make much money. (That's what his tax returns said. He had a friend at Novel Iron Works) So he was ordered to pay Shirley, $75.00/week in Alimony. That was the final nail in her coffin - she never recovered. Barry now lives on a trust fund set up for him by Julius from the 'hidden money." He lives in a 2400 s.f. single family house that he and his ex wife, Wendy built. When they got divorced, he forced Wendy to leave. She did not want to but he told me he invited his friends over, partied all night, kept her up and finally she left. The apple does not fall far from the tree. Barry Silverman, no respect for women, a tough guy.....

" provided by Chapter 208 ss 1-2 and that upon and after the expiration of six months from the entry of this judgement it shall become and be absolute unless, upon the application of any person within such period, the Court shall otherwise order, and it further ordered that said plaintiff to have the care and custody of Barry Silverman, their minor child; reasonable visitation to defendant at all reasonable times and places. The plaintiff to pay to the defendant the sum of seventy-five ($75.00) alimony each week hereafter beginning December 23, 1977."


I was 14 years old when Shirley married Julius Silverman, bookie, tough guy of Malden. I like to call it 'Schlepped Along For the Ride." I spent ten years  living in that house on 45 Lillian Road. What went on in that house would make your hair stand on end. The public face we presented to the world was 'everything is fine'. Nothing could be further from the truth. We, Julius, Barry and I all had to pretend that 'everything is fine.' We acted our way through life. No more. I am too old and tired - I don't have the energy for that.

This blog is about telling the truth. No secrets. No pretending. With that as a preface, I received the following voicemail message from Barry on November 27, 2012 at 10:28 am :

"listen to me very carefully....
you are f***in' dead to me
you understand ?
you f***in' lunatic
i might go out and have a drink just to f***in' spite you
but don't worry about it because you are no longer my health care proxy
you     are      dead    to     me"

Ok then......that's it for me. And this came from sober Barry during the last week of his outpatient Rehab. Gee, tell me how you really feel. He has become Julius Jr., tough guy. I had to take it back then from Shirley, not now, not anymore.