VISIT WITH SHIRLEY JUNE 10, 2012

TRAGIC, VERY, VERY SAD

My friend Jane offered to take me to see Shirley. First we stopped off in Lynn at her apartment building to get some things she needed. A transistor radio was on the list. For those who don't know, google it.

Shocking. Her appearance was shocking. I had not seen her in almost ten years. Her apartment resembled 'the land that time forgot.' The walls are stained with nicotine.

Her doctor happened to be there......on a sunday. Dr. Ryan Zaklin. (Can you say Dr. McDreamy ?) We spoke in the hallway outside her door as I explained to him that she does not answer the phone, she unplugs it from the wall and does not return voicemail messages. She is diagnosed as Paranoid Schizophrenic, non-compliant, + refuses to take meds.

When I first spoke to her, she was crying. She said she got my Mother's Day call but didn't call back because she didn't want me to hear her 'like that....' meaning crying. I suspect she has been in extreme pain for a long, long time. Something had to give eventually.

After we spoke about her condition, and what would be done, could be done, Dr. McDreamy said he would give her the best care, however, due to her age.............it remains to be seen what is 'realistic.'

Then he looked at me and said, he would provide the best care possible, and that he has compassion.....pause...... "having said that, on a subjective level, I have never seen in my years of practice, a patient like your mother who has not seen a doctor for 12 years, who is a heavy smoker, poor nutrition, her test results came back showing nutritional deficiencies, who has made 'poor lifestyle choices' AND who got to be 80 years old. I responded that I thought exactly the same thing - it's unbelievable she's gotten this far given all of the above........in a nutshell, he's never seen anyone like her.

I took pictures of her because I don't know if I will ever see her again. I'm taking it one day at a time. It has not been a week since I first learned she was in the hospital and had already been there for a week. First she was in the Salem hospital and now she is in Spaulding Rehab North. Due to the surgery and her bowel re-section, she is not digesting properly so she cannot start rehab at this time.  So much has happened I have not processed it all - time has speeded up and the days run together.......

Addendum: As I was getting ready to leave, she said, "carol, you look beautiful....."  I can't recall ever hearing  her say that. (she also commented on my hair: "your hair looks light......"  I said, that is called
G r a y .....she said "it looks good, I still think you would look good with blonde highlights...."